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7 Habits To Help Avoid Arguments
By Lillie Oliver
One thing we can not deny about ourselves as human beings is our need and desire to communicate with one another. This aspect to our lives is so vital that if one is not able to hear or talk, a whole new language called sign language comes into play. When something like the art of conversation is so important to us, it helps to find ways to nurture the activity so that we can enjoy more of it in healthy ways. Here are 7 habits to help avoid arguments so that you can enjoy the art of conversations better.
1. KEEP IN MIND YOU ARE SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS
Have you ever felt so strongly about your opinion of something that you could not rest in a conversation unless the other person(s) agreed with you? You may have been in a situation where the opposite were the case and the other person felt need for you to agree with their perspective. It helps to keep in mind that opinions rank from most improbable to most probable. There are possibilities that can exist in opinions that vary in the ranking according the experiences and beliefs of the individuals sharing it. To "share" is to respect the fact that what you think and feel may not be how the other thinks and feels too. It's alright to agree to disagree. In this we show respect for one another and enhance the ability to enjoy the art of conversation.
2. LISTEN TO WHAT THE OTHER IS SHARING WITH YOU
Ever speak with someone who doesn't listen to more than two words of what you have to say before they wonder off or find something more important than what you have to say to focus on? I speak from experience when I say, in time you'll feel like not bothering to talk to them at all. If they just don't listen to you, what would be the point? Reflecting on or measuring value in a conversation is most improbable if we are not listening to one another. A conversation takes both listening and being listened to. If this is not happening, all parties involved are just wasting time.
3. RESPECT OTHERS OPINIONS
Opinions can be a lot like fingerprints where no two are exactly alike. You may come very close, but because your opinions are based on your own personal perspective, it hold fingerprint like reasoning in how one arrived to final conclusions. There are also other elements that would apply to why and how two people with a similar opinion would shift from that particular way of thinking towards another. With that said, we should always respect individuals for the sharing of their perspectives. From the most dense of shallow thinkers to the most intelligent of thinkers, one can only genuinely share where their mind is. Respect that opinions reflect who and where we are in life.
4. MAINTAIN AN EVEN TONE
For the most part we naturally engage in conversation to express ourselves. we raise our voices when excited and use different tones to depict more feeling into what we are saying. This is useful and great in easy flowing conversations. However when conflicts in opinion start to arise, it's time to put a lid on emotional expressing. Anger often rears an ugly superior head that refuses to tolerate opposition. It doesn't matter if it is you, the other person, or both who is getting upset over a difference of opinion. Staying even toned in your voice will help keep the conversation from skewing off into a yelling match. Emotionally expressed anger is a very destructive process that leads to nowhere fast and furiously.
5. KEEP IT FRIENDLY AND FUN
One of the best ways to keep a conversation friendly and fun is with humor. Showing a willingness to laugh at one's self is always useful. People relax when feel they can laugh with you. Laughter increases serotonin levels and makes us feel good. In times when conflict arises, it is best to take a little time to create a lol(laugh out loud) moment to soften the heart as opposed to fueling anger to harden it. If you find it hard to stay friendly in a hostile environment, you might want to try saying something like "look at us getting all mad about this, lets try talking about when we both have cooled off". You can always reflect on what is said in a conversation later when you are alone. This gives you the freedom to be as honest as you can with yourself about it, and may even lead to a new ways to say what you wanted to say. Keeping things friendly and fun can simply be a matter of not taking things so seriously.
6. STAY OPEN MINDED
A lot of times people think of being open minded as being more flexible in changing how we think. Exercising open mindedness is not always about considering changing the mind you have. It can easily be considered open minded simply by being able to see where the other person is coming from. Being open to the possibility of what a person is saying is another way to show them respect as an individual with individual perspectives. The topic at hand may not be a right or wrong thing. In the shades of grey, we can be open minded about respecting different conclusion than our own.
7. BE THANKFUL AND SHOW YOUR GRATITUDE
It takes time to engage in conversation. It also takes a willingness to open up and share a little of who we are. Being thankful to people who talk to us often gets ignored or overlooked. Remembering to be grateful for time and experiences shared can make a huge difference in how a conversation flows. Showing you value a person's time and thoughts adds a great deal of value to the art of conversation.
Arguments often arise when we habitually allow our emotional reactions to run the show. This holds true for anger, boredom, disinterest, and desire to control. The art of conversation is a vital part of life. It is hard to imagine a world without conversing with one another. We as people thrive on communication from the time we are born and throughout our lives. We should not take it for granted and practice engaging in it as productively as possible.