For twitter posts, "*" marks quotes 140 characters or less

"One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention."
~ Clifton Fadiman

* "Humor is a reminder that no matter how high the throne one sits on, one sits on one's bottom."
~ Taki

* "Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood."
~ Mary Hirsch

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'"
~ Charlie Brown

"Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place."
~ Mark Twain

* "The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat."
~Lilly Tomlin

* "Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid."
~Walter Winchell

* "I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom."
~Bob Hope

* "Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."
~saac Asimov

* "I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract!"
~ Groucho Marx

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